Values are those high-flying ideas we all have about what is most important in our life and whether we qualify it as good or bad. Our personal values are influenced by our religion, family, society and friends and each value will have a set of accompanying beliefs.
You should care because these values and beliefs form the filter through which we interpret our lives and make our decisions – big and small. The problem is, most of us don’t consciously know what our values are. Sure, we all have a hazy idea of what is right and wrong, good or bad, but our personal values are so much more complex.
This is because our values are held in our unconscious mind. For the first nine to ten years of our lives we are little sponges taking in everything around us. Then our magnificent brain, built for thinking, dreaming and creating, crosses a key development threshold when our frontal lobes reach adult size and neuronal density. Psychologically, we gain a critical faculty which is the yes/no right/wrong ability we value as adults. At this time, our values crystallise out of all our previous life experiences and are stored in our unconscious mind, which remains frozen at age 9 or 10.
So, not bringing our values into awareness is therefore like riding a bus with a child at the wheel. That child is deciding if or when you embark on a new relationship, buy and new car, spend your rent partying and what career will fill your needs. Now, I don’t know about you, but I was definitely unable to make those decisions responsibly when I was nine. Doing this valuable work allows you to use your full faculties as an adult to make all your decisions.
Another reason to take the time to examine your values is stress. When our daily life is lived out of alignment with our values, stress and misery, or a feeling of pointlessness can often result. If you are plagued by these feelings a good coach or psychologist can help you bring your values into awareness.
In life coaching, this can often be a critical first step to creating the life you deserve. Contact me here to receive a call from me to discuss your needs.
However, if these feelings are severe, please seek medical support. Contact me here for a referral to a mental health professional or reach out to Lifeline on 0861 322-322.